Feel a little "off" after graduating from college? This might be why.

Every spring semester, I have a brief conversation with graduating seniors in my classes about it. I know what they are in for, and I know no one has warned them about it. I know it will happen differently for everyone, and that everyone will ascribe different explanations to it, depending on their specific situation - are they living back at home like I did? Do they already have a new job, or are they looking? Do they feel like they know where they are headed in their lives or careers, or are they still figuring that out? Are they in a new or familiar city? These normal, typical questions can obscure the source of it.

What is it?

It is the feeling that accompanies most undergraduates after they finish school, and begin that "next step" of their lives. What most students don't realize is that after they graduate it is fairly normal to not quite feel "right" for about 6-12 months. They will feel different, and they won't quite know why. This feeling could be sadness, confusion, stillness, uncertainty, a feeling of isolation or being trapped, and likely a mixture of all of the above. There will be some days that are sunny and bright, but there is likely to be a nagging general feeling present that hasn't been there for the last 4 or (in my case) 5 years. WHAT IS THAT THING?!?!

That is what I like to talk to my students about before they leave. Once you graduate, I tell them, it is totally normal to not feel yourself for a little while. That's ok! Give it time, you will be fine and figure it out. But what I want to share here is some of the rationale that I provide for my students - especially those in one of my advertising classes where we discuss the concept of social identity.

In short, the reason that many students are likely to feel different (and perhaps slightly depressed) in the months after graduating is because quite literally, who they are and the ways they have been defining themselves have fundamentally changed overnight. A dominant approach to understanding or defining one's identity is social identity theory, which argues that our identity is a mixture not just of our "personal identity" marked by idiosyncratic characteristics such as whether we think we are "funny", "artistic", or "silly", but by our "social identity" which is marked by the social groups to which we belong, coupled with the emotional significance of these groups. These groups can be chosen (political, religious) or unchosen (race, age), and each will vary in the degree to which that group identity impacts the way we see ourselves or are seen by the world (sex, gender, sports team fans, nationality). Some of our group memberships are highly valued by the self, and some are not. Moreover, the overall valence or meaning of each group membership varies between cultures (or countries), and over time (they are not static). So, the overall social identity each of us has changes over time as the groups we belong to may shift, and as the meaning ascribed to each group may change (do you think the "American" identity has changed recently? What about having a "Catholic" identity?).

So how is this relevant to understanding why recent graduates may not feel like themselves for some time after college? Well, let's think about what has changed for them overnight once they leave school. First, students have spent the last several years surrounded by thousands of people very similar in age to them. Let's consider what a rare, unique context that is - to be surrounded by thousands of people who share so much in common with you, even if it just age, student status, and affinity for the same college. Dozens of friends are within walking distance of you, and most of what you need is a short walk away and very familiar. This - which all subconsciously become absorbed as part of one's "student identity" - magically goes away after graduation. Students are no longer surrounded by the same number of friends, and more importantly, can no longer label themselves as "students". That identity is gone.

This loss of identity can be coupled with the loss of other group identities students may develop while in school. Many students at my school have developed strong ties to a school athletic team (and developed a strong athlete or team identity), only to never play the sport competitively again after leaving school (or minimally, being separated from their teammates). Many students become involved in extracurricular clubs or activities on campus, and these student groups become a large part of their student identity. Again, this identity goes away overnight when they are forced to drop their student identity. Certainly social identity theory allows for the fact that these identities can still be internalized and perceived to be a valued part of the self, but over time the overall meaning or emotional significance of these student group memberships will diminish as the individuals are no longer active in them on campus.

Aside from the loss (immediate, or gradual) of some group identities, recent graduates also have to navigate new group identities or group memberships. For example, some may be living in a new town. This new geographic or hometown identity can be particularly challenging, as they are now calling home a place that is unfamiliar. They must learn not just how to physically navigate a new place, but learn and adopt the culture of that place. Of course, there could even be a clash here if students move to a city or region that previous identities taught them to dislike (often the meaning of an "ingroup" identity is partially feormed by contrast to an "outgroup"). What does a Yankees fan do if she gets a great job in Boston? How might a Philly person deal with the move to Los Angeles? How do we navigate these conflicting identities? Self-categorization theory helps explain this switching between identities, but no need to go down that road right now.

Aside from adding the social group meaning of a new city, recent graduates are also likely struggling to understand and adopt the social identity of their new "job". In one circumstance, this new "job" could simply be the dropping of "student" as one's occupation, despite not yet having found employment. The inability to see oneself as a student - where the future is wide open and infinitely possible - is now gone. Alternatively, graduates may find themselves in a new job, which is great! Right! Well yes, it is, but now this means slowly accepting that the social identity or group meaning of this new job (one's occupation identity) applies to you. Maybe you like all of the meanings of this occupation, and maybe you don't. Maybe you are still trying to understand the culture of your workplace or occupation more generally, and don't see yourself the same way you see your colleagues. Even if you have a job you like, the fact that this is not a summer job (i.e., temporary) is a new feeling, and the permanence of your daily schedule takes time to adjust to. You are no longer a "student". You are a "working person". Summer vacation? That's a thing of the past!

Now, I haven't even gotten into what all of these changes (dropping and adding of group memberships) may mean for your other social identities (remember, we all have many social identities based on the social groups we belong to, and collectively these group meanings form our overall social identity - I am an Armenian-American male communication professor from Philadelphia who lives near Baltimore and is a father of three kids who likes to be active and hike and has ever-evolving political ideologies and used to be a "blue-collar" worker at my parents' greenhouse nursery until I was 25 then went to grad school and now the world sees me as a white collar worker and I'm still adjusting - just to name a few). A new job may heighten your own focus on your gender, or your age, or your ethnicity, because you recognize how distinctive this social identity makes you in this new environment (see distinctiveness theory). Perhaps you find your religious identity becoming more challenged because workplace demands on your time make it harder for you to practice your religion in the same way. Is your political identity impacted by your new environment, or how legislation now impacts your life given what has changed for you?

All of these changes, taking place at the same time, lead to a lot of ambivalent feelings for recent graduates which can be difficult to fully understand. Collectively, they may result in graduates just feeling "off", or "not themselves". As I have tried to explain here, that is because quite literally, they are no longer themselves. The year after graduation is a time where individuals must begin fighting again to claim their own identity because so many of the things on which their identity has been based have now changed.

So if you feel funny, a little off, a little sad, or genuinely depressed, this could be why. Give yourself some time to slowly grow into your new life and your new social identities. It will come, and you will start finding a rhythm at some point. And if you don't, this could simply be a sign that where you are isn't where you should be - and you need to seek a change! Of city, or career, or something else that you discern. It is also worth noting that if you feel you may be clinically depressed, that is more than just a bad mood, and you should seek help from a professional with no hesitation or shame. Just as you might for a broken bone.

Some closing thoughts.

If you are curious to learn more about social identity theory, self-categorization theory, or distinctiveness theory, and how they can help us understand the way we see ourselves, let me know. I'd be happy to point you to some interesting readings. If you are still hunting for a job and thinking about working in the digital media / strategic communication space, or you feel social media strategy would benefit you in your current job role, feel free to reach out to me about the Emerging Media masters program at Loyola. I've seen it help a lot of people.

But most importantly, if you know someone who may need to hear this message about life after graduation, please share it with them. Life can seem confusing at times. If we can find others with whom we share meaningful group membership, life will feel less like being lost in the woods, and more like an adventure to a mountaintop.

And as always, be kind to each other, and have the best day you can.